Over the course of my life, I’ve cultivated quite an intimate relationship with both addiction as well as depression.
For whatever reason, be it karma, genetic predisposition, the environment I grew up in, I seem to have been born with, or perhaps acquired, what I call an “addictive personality”.
I struggled with depression on and off throughout my late teens and early twenties and also found myself grappling with cocaine addiction, addiction to stimulants, alcoholism, obsessive compulsive disorder and an extremely disordered and addictive relationship with food, primarily in the form of binge eating disorder and bulimia. I had chronic obsessive thoughts about my body weight, food, what I should or shouldn’t be eating, how much I shouldn’t be eating and then eating too much and wishing I hadn’t.
I’ve been on quite a healing journey these past 15 years of my life. At the very core of my quest for my own healing was a strong determination to help others who we’re struggling like I was. I felt so alone in my struggle; so utterly disconnected.
I started reading books from spiritual teachers, particularly by Pema Chödrön who I still consider to be one of my most cherished Dharma teachers in my life, who opened a doorway of light within my heart to seek out my healing by coming out of my dark, isolated cocoon and reach out to connect with other human beings in a heartfelt way.